When it comes to the conversational skills of all the Paris Hiltons and Jessica Simpsons out there, just say no!  Having a mind of your own and a fresh perspective on life is basically the hottest thing I can think of.  Take it from me.  My Dad’s bull-headedness was passed on to me and the moment a woman challenges me and one of my set-in-stone opinions, I fall in love.  Call me a softie if you must, but I just can’t help myself. 

Despite the media’s portrayal of girl on girl action, us lesbos do not have pillow fights in our underwear for fun.  Want to know the dirty details that go on behind closed doors?  We talk.  That’s right – in your face, honest, heart to heart convos.  These “discussions” can be emotionally draining at times, but we always get to the heart of the matter and come to some sort of agreement.  I am in no way telling you that you should have deep talks that bring you to screaming and tears every day.  I am simply encouraging a little vulnerability every now and then.  Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, darlin’!  Be proud of those crazy thoughts that go through that pretty little head of yours. 

I know what you’re thinking.  Why would I take fashion advice from a girl who belongs to a group that is known for frump?  Just trust me on this one.  Dressing up is, of course, hot and appropriate for certain outings and events.  However, every girl deserves a night off from the tight halters and teeny skirts.  Next time you’re having another one of those “I have nothing to wear” crises, heed my advice.  Hop over to your nearest Target or Wal-Mart and buy a pack of wife beaters.  Pair the tank with jeans that hug your awesome curves, do your hair in a pony, and off you go!  The key is to rock your casual look with confidence.  You might be surprised at the heads you turn.  What’s important is that you’re comfortable and feel amazing.  You’ve freed yourself up for a great time.  Oh yeah, a word to the wise: don’t come to “my side of town” looking like this unless you’re prepared to break a few hearts. 

You straight ladies are notorious for waiting in line for an hour to see the latest Nicholas Sparks book-turned-movie or curling up on the couch with the tissues and White Zin to watch “Sleepless in Seattle.”  I have one question for you: How do you feel after you finish one of those cheesy flicks?  My guess would be you either feel extreme disappointment that your man is nothing like the ones in the movies or you want to throw yourself into rush hour traffic because you’re alone and will never meet your own Ryan Gosling or Tom Hanks.  Guess what?  It’s a movie, not real life!  Besides, it seems like everybody dies in those silly Sparks flicks and meeting a guy that you only heard about on the radio is a bit creepy.  Why not pick a film that gives you a good laugh and reminds you that real life is not all that bad?  I recommend films with Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn.  They’re adorable and hilarious.  I’ve often said I’d marry Vince Vaughn in a second, and I don’t even like boys!  We lady-gays can quote these movies in our sleep.  Laughter is good for the soul.  Trust us. 

Look in the mirror and say it with me.  You are hot, sexy, beautiful, attractive, desirable – all of the above, exactly the way you are.  Regardless of what you read in Maxim or see on Spike TV, the aforementioned statements are 100% true.  I know this because I’m sort of close with a certain Higher Power.  I have been told several times by this Power that women were made beautifully.  What can I say?  It’s just a cross we have to bear.  I am not saying that you should discontinue your gym membership or sleep in that extra thirty minutes and give up the CHI.  I am simply encouraging you to appreciate and be proud of your appearance right now.  So what if you have to tweeze your uni-brow every morning?  Oh wait, that’s me.  Who cares if you have the bust of a ten year old boy?  You are beautiful right now, in this moment.  As my GBF would say, “Life is a runway, work it.”
 

I hope I have been successful in encouraging you to consider adding one of us amazing gay ladies to your BFF list. Gay girls have a wealth of advice just waiting to be heard. Try it out. Turn to that girl in carpenter pants and a plaid shirt two cubicles down from you and ask her out for a coffee Tuesday morning. Invite her to the movies. Visit your neighbor down the street with the rainbow flag on her front lawn Friday. Ask her advice on something. Open your life to a lesbian! You may just find your new best girlfriend.
 

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